Listen Skeptically

In my work as an editor, I frequently encounter a crucial tension. On the one hand, I have to assume that the writer I’m working with has something important to contribute to the world. Otherwise, there would be no good reason to edit her. On the other hand, I can’t afford to assume that anything she says is true. Otherwise, I’m not doing my job.

Put more dramatically: I have to believe unequivocally in the value of a writer’s perspective even as I doubt every word she says.

To navigate this tension, I consciously adopt a particular stance—a specific mode of paying attention—when I’m editing. I call it “listening skeptically,” and I suspect you may find it useful for making sense of the world, even if you’re never officially anyone’s editor. Here’s how it works. 

First, Listen Faithfully

Any genuine act of reading or listening requires an initial leap of faith, a willingness to let someone else’s words enter your mind under the guise of presumed truth. You have to start by believing—or at least suspending your disbelief—that the person to whom you’re listening has something valid to say.

As an editor, this can be difficult, especially when people send you drafts that are sloppy, poorly conceived, or even incoherent. And likewise in everyday life: It can be hard to take people seriously when they say things that sound downright stupid. At such moments, it’s important to remember that a person can have something useful to say—an idea, a perspective, an intended meaning, or even just the kernel of any of these—without knowing how to say it well.

Hard, but necessary. We all realize, or should, that even brilliant people with the best of intentions regularly make mistakes. We should also recognize that even not-so-brilliant, ill-intentioned people are regularly right about at least some of what they see. Anyone who survives in the world, day after day, is getting many things right.

Based on this recognition, you should start by giving everyone the benefit of the doubt. Suspend your own disbelief long enough to listen carefully to what you hear or read, and try your best to find and respect the other person’s point of view. Then, as long as that point of view isn’t vile, entertain it for a while: Take it on a stroll through your imagination; see if it’s a match for any memories you’ve stored.

But don’t let it wander off. Before you let it stay, you need to turn it inside out.

Next, Doubt Religiously

Giving someone the benefit of the doubt is good. Failing to actively doubt what they say is a sin against all that editors hold sacred. Seriously, every good editor I know lives by a simple principle: trust, but verify.

This means you never take anything anyone says purely on faith. You look for additional sources to corroborate their stories. You ask them to clarify any and all confusing claims. You insist that they show you the evidence to back up their assertions.

None of this means that you have to go negative. Listening skeptically does not require becoming a cynic, much less an enemy to the person to whom you’re listening. On the contrary, if you question constructively, you can help others build their own best arguments. And by poking holes and correcting mistakes, you can help them avoid looking foolish.

Done well, editing is productive, not destructive. Same goes for skeptical listening. The key is to start by questioning the evidence, the assumptions, and the arguments, rather than the person behind them.

Until someone has proven themselves untrustworthy, remember that you are just as likely as they are to be mistaken or ill-informed. With that in mind, question carefully but humbly. Seek to learn the truth for yourself, not to prove that someone else doesn’t have it.

Finally, Observe the Reaction

Here’s what you will find: People who actually have something worthwhile to say, and who aren’t intellectual slobs or bullies, will generally be happy to explain themselves. Even if your questioning frustrates them a bit, they will appreciate your effort to fully understand their perspective. They may even thank you for helping them sharpen their ideas.

Meanwhile, people who don’t know what they’re talking about, or who are intellectual slobs or bullies, will either retreat quickly or become angry and belligerent. They may shout at you, question your motives, or attempt to change the subject. Their responses will tell you something important about their arguments and something even more important about them.

Listening skeptically creates an opportunity to learn, both for you and for the person to whom you’re listening. People who see that opportunity as a threat or a waste of time are people you’ll want to avoid if you can. They may still have something to teach you, but they’re loudmouths who don’t stop to listen. And that’s reason enough to be skeptical of them as well as their arguments.

Bottom line: It’s good to open your mind up wide and entertain many people’s ideas. But only let the really good ones stay. Your time, attention, and brain space are limited. You have to use them wisely.